The Power Of Questions: Shift Your Focus

“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”
–  Albert Einstein

Questions are powerful tools. When you change the questions you ask yourself, you change the direction of your life.

Remember, it’s not the events of your life that determine how you feel and act, it’s meaning you create from the experience.

Learning to ask empowering questions – especially when something bad happens – is a critical life skill that will ultimately shape the meanings you create and therefore the quality and direction of your life.

negative thinking, negative emotions

How To Break The Cycle Of Negative Thinking (part 2)

In the first video on how to break the vicious cycle of negative thinking we looked at the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviours and how each one affects the others.

In today’s video we will look more closely at breaking the vicious cycles by targeting the behaviours associated with particular problems. Very often we react automatically, without considering our actions or the consequences of them.

We will learn how to choose healthy alternative behaviours by using one of my favourite models – it’s called P.A.C.E.S (you can download a copy of it below the video).

How To Break The Cycle Of Negative Thinking (Part 1)

In today’s video I want to help you to break the vicious cycle of negative thinking, feeling and behaviour. When you know the parts of the vicious cycle, you can change them – and therefore change the way you feel.

Understanding the S.T.E.P model (covered in the video) will enable you to gain some useful insights to your thinking and begin to address and work through negative emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression.

How To Release Negative Emotions (Part 3)

This is the third and final entry in the “How To Release Negative Emotions Series”. Be sure to check out part 1 and part 2 if you haven’t already.

The purpose of these videos is to highlight the importance of releasing the negative emotions that bubble up when we try to make positive changes in our personal and professional life.

“Treat negative emotions like negative people, acknowledge their presence and make whatever changes are required to remove them from your life.”

In today’s video I share three techniques I use to release negative emotions that I want to clear quickly.

These fast and simple techniques are easy to forget to do but doing them will definitely propel you out of the old emotional patterns and into new directions.

How To Release Negative Emotions (Part 2)

This is the second entry in the “How To Release Negative Emotions Series”. Be sure to check it out the first one if you haven’t already.

The purpose of these videos is to highlight the importance of releasing the negative emotions that bubble up when we try to make positive changes in our personal and professional life.

It doesn’t matter how much you say you want success, if you don’t handle the negative emotions effectively, you will NOT let yourself do what it takes to succeed.

How To Release Negative Emotions (part 1)

It’s great to set goals. It’s great to feel you have clarity and direction in your life. That’s why I’m a strong advocate of the discipline.

But there is a downside to setting goals and that doesn’t get talked about much. One of the “bad side effects” of becoming more conscious of how we are creating our lives is the minds temptation to return to the old patterns of thinking.

This clash between the new way of thinking and old way of thinking can bring about a range of negative thoughts, emotions and patterns. Patterns that may have stopped us before.
How we handle the negative thoughts and emotions that bubble up from the unconscious can either undermine our progress or speed us on our way. If we don’t handle them correctly we can quickly find ourselves drained, stuck and cynical.

I’m planning this topic to be a two part video series. In this video I share where negative emotions come from and why they arise when we want to create a new reality for ourselves.

This is worthy of our awareness. It is important work. That’s why I make these videos for you.

If you enjoy today’s video I would be humbled if you’d take these two quick actions:
FIRST – Help spread the word about . There are many others who are anxiously searching for a way out of their frustrations and limiting mindsets and are hungry to live a life they can feel great about. Hit one of the funky buttons below the video and post this page on your favourite social media platform. Thank you!

SECOND – Are you part of the Facebook community yet? If not, click the ‘like’ button opposite and join in the conversation. I love to hear your thoughts and results.

Modeling Success – How To Get On The Fast Track

Some of us learn from other people’s mistakes; the rest of us have to be the other people.
– Zig Ziglar

Let me start out today’s post with two ‘what if’ questions:

1. What if there was a faster and easier way to achieve the results you’d like to achieve in life?
2. What if there is a way to shorten your learning curve for anything you’d like to master in life?

Would you be interested?

Of course you would… anyone would!

Well, there is and that’s what I want to talk about in today’s video.

How To Use The Ultimate Success Formula

Let me start this post by sharing one of my favourite quotes:

“There are no secrets to success. It is the results of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure”

– Colin Powell

A lot of people ask me how they can have the success they want in their life. They ask, why am i struggling when other people are succeeding? Why aren’t things working out the same for me?

Although there will be a number of reasons for this I can generally boil it down to one of four things they are not doing.

How To Take A Real Vacation From Work – 7 Top Tips To Make Reentry Hard!

Copyright: damedeeso / 123RF Stock Photo

Based on the title of this blog post, you might be thinking, are you serious? Who needs to know how to take a real vacation from work?

It’s a fair challenge, so let me ask you, when was the last time you took a real (with a capital R) vacation?

I’ve asked this simple question to a number of senior execs I work with and the type of the responses I get have been:

“What is a real vacation?”

“Years ago!”

“When I retire, 6 years from now!”

It appears the challenge of taking a good restorative break has become a lost art for many of us who spend most of our waking hours in the working world.

For years, I had no idea how to take a proper break and it appears I’m not alone! To leave the world of work behind and take time off is not something that comes naturally for the modern day work culture. And, surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be any place to go to learn how. No workshops appear on any company’s learning and development curriculum with the enticing titles like, How to slip the tether of work whilst you are away or How to escape the orbit of the office to get some real R&R or How to stop feeling overwhelmingly guilty about completely unplugging for the office for two weeks.

I Can’t Leave Work Behind!

Holidays are supposed to represent an opportunity to get away from the pressures of day-to-day working life, but there is plenty of research to show that millions of us are unable to leave our work behind (even for a short period).

One report from AlphaRooms, suggests that 20 million Brits think it is NECESSARY to take their work away with them.

Two-thirds of those questioned admitted that they had experienced a work interruption while relaxing on holiday.

Another 80 per cent said they had worried about work while enjoying a well-deserved break, which perhaps defeats the object of going away in the first place.

Technology appears to have a great deal to do with this trend, with a third of people taking their laptop and smartphone on holiday with them.

Some three-quarters of those surveyed revealed that they had made or taken a work phone call while ostensibly ‘getting away from it all’ and 60 per cent have sent a work-related email.

A survey by Expedia , showed on average, Americans forfeit $34.3 billion in vacation days. Many U.S. workers earn 14 days off, they take only as many as 12. Those mere two days add up to 226 million vacation days unused by overworked Americans.

Shocking, but I know I’ve been one of these statistics!

I’ve taken phone calls from the office with my feet in the sea or, excused myself from queues at theme parks to check my emails or, bashed out a proposal in the shade by the pool and, if I’m honest, more out of habit more than necessity. I’ve treated my laptop and mobile like an important family member, taking them everywhere with me and tethering myself to the daily affairs of work.

Reentry into the world of work was never a problem for me, since I never really escaped it in the first place. Until, taking our year out and living on the Island of Fuerteventura, that is, when I did go off to a place where I slipped the tether of work completely.

Hitting Civilisation

Each day on the Island moved me further and further away from work, transporting me to an even more tranquil state of mind, unpreturbed by anything outside of our family unit.

Eight months into our family year out we flew to Sotogrande in Spain to check out the International School. In a mere two and a half hours, we had left the peace and tranquility we’d become so accustomed to for the hustle and bustle of a busy, noisy Madrid airport.

People brushed past us in a furious hurry and rush. Women were decked out in the latest fashion and designer brands. Men dressed in suits and ties, clutching mobiles, laptops and palm pilots, eagerly checked their watches.

Everybody’s life seemed reduced to the clock. It was noisy and claustrophobic. We froze up! Too much, too fast. We began to panic. We quickly retreated to the far end of the terminal where there was less noise and busyness. This gave us the breathing space we needed before boarding our next flight to Malaga.

I hadn’t known to expect this. The eight months out had been cathartic not only for my work life but my ordinary life too. It had never occurred to me that the life as we live it is not entirely nontoxic. Reentering life at that moment, I felt as if I’d swallowed some poison. It was obvious reentry was going to be harder than anticipated.

The BIG ha, ha!

Life had presented me with an important “ha, ha” moment! I suddenly appreciated the rejuvenating effect the year was having on my mind, body and spirit, but understood, at the same moment, the paradox of a real vacation –

If reentry isn’t hard , then I haven’t really been away.

This experience helped me realise that for each of us to get the lasting effect of a break (even if it’s just a few days), we must find a way to make it possible for the restorative effects of breaks to have an impact in our everyday lives. Otherwise we quickly lose the important benefits to the mind, body and spirit immediately upon reentry.

This lesson has made me more conscious of the need for balance and perspective. It’s a sensibility I still work at keeping to this day.

What about YOU? Do you find reentry easy or difficult?

If it’s too easy for you, use these 7 tops tips to make reentry hard:

1. Decompress – It might take a couple of days to disengage from the stress of your demanding career, so take a little time to unwind. Sit still. Take a timeout. Give yourself permission to decompress. Turn the smartphone and laptop off (what a novel idea!). Experiencing “white space” can be scary for some ‘have to be doing’ types but you’ll soon feel its wonderful rejuvenating effects.

2. Sleep – You’ve probably missed this important aspect of life, true? Don’t beat yourself up if you sleep in or feel like hitting the sack early. This privilege you have earned. Max out on it!

3. Make Fun a Priority – Whether it is a trip to the beach with a fun novel or night out dancing like John Travolta, it is time to have some fun, let your hair down and have a laugh. This is the perfect time to stop taking yourself too seriously (something many of us do too much in the corporate world) and let fun be the guide. Don’t short cut this one!

4. Reflect on Your Future – Once you have relaxed a bit and eased into your summer break, use the time to consider where your life is headed and if you need to make a mid course correction.

5. Consider Doing Nothing at All – Ah, this is my favourite summer holiday route. Being a consultant can be an all consuming occupation that requires you to be “on” at all times. Why not treat yourself to blissful act of just doing nothing?

6. Experiment – Holidays are a great time to try new ways of being. If you’re normally a ‘clock watcher,’ then take it off and go with the flow. If you’re a planner, then try being spontaneous and see where it leads you. If you like know where you are going, practice being lost! If you like the safety of your comfort zone (or dead zone) then step out of it and get that feeling of aliveness by doing something that scares you.

7. Enjoy – When you are on holiday think of nothing else but your holiday. If it’s a possibility, leave your work mobile and laptop at home (if you really have to bring your smartphone then discipline yourself to the amount of time you use it). Let go of all the concerns for a week or two. Leave behind all the office politics, the lists that never get completed, or those nagging doubts about your childcare arrangements and connect with what really matters – maxing out on the ‘glad to be alive’ feeling.

You deserve it. Besides your office will still be there when you get back.

Let’s raise a glass to making reentry hard on your next vacation – I’m planning mine to be!

Did you enjoy this post? Please comment & share by clicking on the ‘funky face” icons below. Thanks.

How To Be Happy (Part 8) – Controlling Your Focus

Hey, give me your mental attention for a moment and it will make you happier (I promise).

Much of the level of happiness in your life depends not on beauty nor brains, fame nor fortune, fate nor coincidence, but on what you choose to mentally focus on.

From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep, you are selectively focusing on something in your experience, and much more often than you may suspect, you can take charge of this process to good effect.

Life is not about becoming free of problems and challenges so you can be happier, rather it is about becoming better at shifting perspectives to bring about a better experience. It’s your response to life’s problems that determines the level and frequency of your happiness.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
— Wayne Dyer

HOW you experience the challenges life throws up is a more significant factor in your happiness than WHAT challenges you experience. Indeed, your ability to focus is the key to controlling your experience and, ultimately, your happiness.

Happiness is a choice. It’s what you choose to focus on and give meaning to and in today’s video I show you three specific places to put your focus for the ultimate happiness experience.

When you find yourself lost on your path to happiness, it may be time to pause and refocus.

Enjoy today’s video and please help spread the word if you like it!

If you enjoy today’s video I would be humbled if you’d take these two quick actions:

FIRST – Hit one of the funky buttons below the video and post this page on your favourite social media platform (please help others and spread the word).

SECOND – Are you part of the Facebook community yet? If not, click the ‘like’ button opposite and join in the conversation. I love to hear your thoughts and results.

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